I’m wondering if I should set a reminder to write weekly. I’ve thought about doing this before as I’m a very inconsistent blogger. Do you use weekly or monthly reminders to help you structure a consistent pattern of doing something? It’s said that it takes approximately 60 days for any function or exercise to become a habit.
Writing daily, a paragraph or two, for 60 days would then become a habit? I should probably set the reminder and give it a try. I’d need to decide on the best time, day or night? And what hour of the day or night? What media, pen and paper? If pen and paper, I’d need to digitize it here afterwards. Or not. If not, what’s the purpose of blogging?
So many questions, so few answers. Unless I decide to just do it.
Adaptability. If we can’t adapt, it’s almost certain that any significant change we may experience could end up causing a negative impact on our lives.
Negativity. It could very well be the most harmful stimuli we impose on ourselves. We are hardwired for negativity, we feel it’s sting much more than positive praise.
The past traumas of my childhood still linger to this day. I remember those experiences more than positive ones. It’s how my brain is wired, and probably how your’s is too.
What can I do to prevent negativity from creeping in and possibly ruining my day? First, take a more mindful approach and realize that it’s there. Pay extra attention when good things happen. Take a few minutes to think on the good feelings from the experience. Do this several times.
And try to always tell yourself that tomorrow will bring more wonderful feelings from all the good things that will happen. Having more positive feelings than negative ones gives you a positive outlook on life.
69 trips around the sun. Do I need a reminder on May 12 every year? Are trees reminded yearly of their first glance of the world from their undergound birthplace? Are birds shown their yearly anniversary of when they hatched? Do whales, sharks, snakes, spiders and every other living creature on this Pale Blue Dot get a yearly reminder?
I think there should be a law of some sort that states: “No person, animal, or any living creature past the age of 40 shall not be reminded of date of birth.” Call me a cynic if you want (I’ve had to deal with that recently) but I no longer want or need to be reminded of my age.
It’s irrelevant. But thanks for all the birthday wishes anyway. Please do me a favor if you can…
Next year, instead of sending “Happy Birthday” wishes, send me some cold hard cash, in paper form, not coin. A couple of Washingtons isn’t too much to ask!
How many times have you either said that to someone, or been told that by someone? I bet more than once for each. Probably more times during your childhood. But as I’ve aged, that question has been randomly coming to mind.
Many years ago my older brother asked me this existential question: if I could choose to die first so that I wouldn’t be here for all the mourning, or be second and feel the grief and suffering of my wife passing instead of her feeling that pain for me if I died first, would I choose to go first or second?
Yes, that might seem to be a rather morbid question to ask, and I don’t remember (many years ago in this instance was probably 40+ or more) what my brother and I were discussing before he asked but it’s one of those hypotheticals that when you chew on it for a while really starts to have merit.
There are those who face death bravely, not fearing what may or may not lie on the other side. They may not even know if there is another side. And there are many who may not have had the chance to look death in the eye before passing. And some know their end is near and joyfully accept it, expecting and knowing of a wondrous afterlife.
I’ve been by myself at home for five days while my wife is away with our daughter. A destination wedding seems to be popular these days. During this time alone I’ve been thinking about my upcoming 69th trip around the sun. I’ve also had the “you go first or second” question pop up a time or two. I try to answer it, and tell myself there’s really no right or wrong answer.
Going first seems to be a more selfless answer, knowing that my wife would get to enjoy a longer life. Heading that way second seems like a selfish decision. What about going first together? That’s another existential question that deserves merit I think.
I’ve heard those 5 words more than I care to, and yet, I find myself uttering them on occasion. What does it mean when you use that phrase?
I discovered that it’s a tautophrase – “A phrase or sentence that tautologically defines a term by repeating that term.” I don’t remember studying tautology in any of my literary criticism classes in college, so I looked it up on Wikipedia. Go here to read the definition.
It’s probably okay to use it in tenses too. With “it is what it is” being the present tense, “it was what it was” the past tense, and “it will be what it will be” the future tense. I use those on occasion, even though I think they’re all inelegant phrases.
Nevertheless, one of my college English lit professors told me that as a writer I can use any phrase I choose if it suits what I’m trying to communicate to readers. She said I can even make up my own words or a phrase if it gets my point across. So, I’ll leave yall with this one:
I suppose there are many different ways one can handle it, positive and negative. It may need to be measured in some form or fashion before you can choose how to deal with it. Life here on Pale Blue Dot is so full of them that it becomes second nature to either accept them and move on, or ignore them and move on. Either method can be both subjective and objective at the same time.
It’s disappointing to not be chosen for a position on the high school basketball or football team. Especially if you think you’re good enough. You wonder why it wasn’t noticed at tryouts. You watched and learned many different moves and strategies for the game, you’ve practiced and played with friends at the local park during summer. They all seemed to think you were quite good.
I wasn’t chose, but that has no effect on those that were. They might be thinking it was best for the team that I wasn’t picked. They might’ve noticed my method of handling the ball looked a little awkward, or I was just a little too slow running the 50-yard dash. Their views and opinions are completely objective to me, my opinion of myself is what should matter for being picked, right?
Perhaps. If you show that you are okay upon discovering that you weren’t picked, if you can come to grips with what is probably better for the team, if you can tell yourself “next time.” And keep believing that there will be a next time.
Life is full of choices, and I understand that sometimes not being chosen is best for the team. But handling the disappointment within is not a team effort, you are the only one that can take care of that. Just know that there’s always a next time.
I’ve asked myself that question many times and it’s a tough one to answer. You’ve probably heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:
Physiological needs – water, food, shelter, etc.
Safety needs – personal security, employment, health.
Love and Belonging – family, friends, intimacy.
Esteem – respect, self-esteem, status.
Self-actualization – the desire to be all you can be.
It’s quite interesting that Maslow narrowed it down to five crucial needs, but when you look at each separately there’re many facets of what a need truly is. And each of us have many different kinds of needs that are individually important.
I might need a new pair of shoes, but my old ones still fit regardless of the fact that one has a hole in the sole. You could say this isn’t really a need, it’s a want because no one can see the hole. The shoe still fits perfectly and if I avoid walking where there might be glass or other sharp objects, the shoe still does what a shoe does.
Wants are far more subjective than needs which makes them harder to identify because they’re more personal to how we want to live and what living comfortably means. A new pair of shoes would make me feel better about myself because, well, they’re new and maybe more noticeable and folks might think I’m pretty hip because I’m wearing the latest style.
On the other hand, my need for a new pair becomes a lot more relevant than wearing the latest style if I’m sitting at a restaurant, with my leg on top of my knee and the shoe with the hole in the sole is visible. I’m sure folks who notice would think to themselves “that fella needs a new pair of shoes.”
I was discussing this need/want topic with my wife recently who’s thinking about purchasing a want. We’re both retired, and unfortunately haven’t met the “$1,000,000” figure often mentioned (as a need for retirement) by financial planners. I look for reasons to justify a want purchase by looking at our needs. Have all five been met?
If you can answer yes, then I say go ahead with the want purchase. If you’re like us, you’ll have a common sense discussion and come to a mutual agreement. Or not. (I just thought I needed to add that little negaitve aspect whether I wanted to or not.)
My new pair of barefoot shoes by Hike that I’ve wanted for some time but didn’t need.
I just happen to be one. If you’re one too then I’m sure you’ll agree that spring is our favorite season. Especially if you’re a gardener, and more especially (“more especially?”) if you’re pushing 70 and winter’s cold seeps ever so deeply into your bones with each passing year.
If I could grow feathers perhaps the cold would find it more difficult to get in. Even when I’m bundled up like Randy in A Christmas Story cold will eventually find a way to get through and I’ll be looking for the quickest way back to the living room heater within minutes.
I’m no ornothologist but from what I can tell, birds seem to be pretty well adapted to cold and snow. I mean just look at that plump mourning dove above and tell me if you think it looks like it’s cold.
Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal in the above image look perfectly warm to me. If I had downy feathers I could probably brave the cold much like them. But, alas, us humans don’t have feathers. Sure, you can purchase coats and jackets filled with down that might keep you warm, but as I mentioned earlier, cold will always find its way to my skin no matter what I’m wearing to protect it.
I wish roses bloomed in May instead of June. It does happen on occasion but not as often as I’d like. The above image of a lovely June blooming rose warms my skin as if I had the downy feathers of a bird.
As I write this the temperature outside is 36° and snow is in the forecast.
That I placed my fingers and hand around the neck of a guitar long before they touched the shutter button on a camera. My guitar has always been close at hand and it’s been with me everywhere. Including 300 feet under the Meditterranean Sea during my time as a sonar technician on a nuclear submarine. If my guitar could talk (it does, but not like us) I’d probably have a lot of explaining to do and nobody would believe me.
The camera is a relatively new instrument to my hands and fingers and I’m still learning how to “play” it. Having started my photography journey past the age of 60, it’s much harder to learn because of the Grim Reaper’s curse on my prefrontal cortex. I am taking the advice of my mentor Blake Rudis: “Combat this with: DELIBERATE and ROUTINE PRACTICE. REPETITION, PERSISTENCE, and CONCENTRATION.”
My guitar knows me well enough that such routine practice sessions with it are more like performances. The camera hasn’t known me long enough to perform like my guitar. If only my guitar could communicate on some metaphysical level with my camera and let it know that I’m a little slower at learning things these days.
Perhaps both instruments working together could cure my condition with a miraculous song, frozen in time and captured in a photograph.
There’s a selfless rhythm required when enmeshing yourself with another person.
(Justin Vernon)
34 years being enmeshed with someone is weirdly like being enmeshed with yourself, if you play your cards right. You can pretty much do what you want as long as you’re not hurting yourself, mentally or physically.
The one enmeshed can also benefit from such a long relationship. They know that you know them pretty well and they figure you’d not do anything that would ruin a good enmeshment.
Yes, that’s a weird way of describing what it’s like being married for 34 years. But I think you could say that marriage is an enmeshing of two souls that, ideally, remain so after however many years till death do you part.
I like to think that my inner rhythm has been atuned to the one enmeshed for these past 34 years. I must admit that it gets a little out of tune sometimes. That’s when the going gets tough but the tough get going.
On April 6th, I’ll celebrate the 34th year of what has been a very fulfilling enmeshment. I think she would agree.
Framing the Sound 